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Tuesday, November 7, 2017

The oceanmaker.


this is how we did it we wrote a plan about what we were going to write in our stories we had a brainstorm then we wrote our stories here is my story down below.            

                                                                                                                     


Can you give me feedback please oh and here is the video for ocean maker.


The ocean maker video

One day the In the dried up ocean the was a boy he was determined to find a cloud and he almost got there but his plane run out of fuel the he crashed landed into the village next he got a new plane and he was looking for a cloud for days he was so tired that he was almost asleep then he fall asleep then he woke up by a big bang he new straight away it was the bombs again he quickly went to his bunker after a couple hours he came out he finally found a cloud he was so happy that he crashed into the rocks and died. THE END. ok this was a terrible ending but it was an ending.

3 comments:

  1. It was indeed a terrible ending. Your ending made me feel a little sad. Personally I like a happy ending. I love the idea that someone was looking for a cloud. What would he have done with the cloud if he had survived? I suspect it may have been something wonderful.

    I look forward to your next blog post.

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  2. He would have made the ocean again thanks so much for commenting.

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  3. Hi Blake. My name is Hilal and I am a student in Waikowhai Primary School. I really liked how you made the ending said he crashed into the rocks and died.ok this was a terrible ending but it was an ending.1 thing you should do is to add fullstop. If you would want to check my blog. This is the link http://wpshilalc.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

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